First of all, most of you didn't know me in the first place, so feel free to stop reading....now. For those of you who knew me, you probably recognize me as this chick: http://bit.ly/gcg0z5 but, as you can see, I've changed my profile picture now.
I joined Newsvine in November 2008 (I think) but since early 2009 I haven't logged on-until yesterday. Where did I go and why did I decide to log back on yesterday?
It wasn't a deliberate decision to be away for so long, believe me. I made some great friends here, read some great content, had really mindblowing discussions and learnt new things that have stayed with me to this day. So I certainly didn't leave Newsvine because of anything Newsvine did.
Here's why I left: In late 2008, between me joining Newsvine and Christmas, I started seeing this guy. I'm one of those silly people who throws everything out of the window if they enter into a relationship. So out went my writing-I was only logging into Newsvine occasionally. It wasn't even a relationship though. It was a fling that ended six weeks later, at the end of January. It ended badly though, and really, the break up dragged on until the end of February. So what happened between February 2009 and now? I suffer from mild depression and hadn't really had much to do with guys before (I've only had one proper boyfriend, not counting this stupid fling), so it hit me harder than it logically should have. I stopped writing and stopped coming onto Newsvine altogether. They were very dark times and I'd probably have gotten better sooner if I hadn't been drinking so much and had taken my meds consistently.
I finally started getting my act together in late 2009, when I started freelance writing again, this time for a niche magazine. I also started writing online copy for an old schoolmate's new business, such as case studies and web bios, and and by April 2010, I was managing the company blog and ghost writing articles to send out to other blogs, magazines and newspapers.
Additionally, I'd started co-writing a novel with my Dad, so that was a lot of fun.
Also, the niche magazine was offering more and more work. I was getting a lot of income from them and visiting their offices a lot too. Even though I was still freelance, I was effectively working part time for them, while doing my other stuff on the side, as it were. I basically got really busy, really quickly and had no intention of returning to Newsvine, in the rare moments I remembered it.
So it's Summer 2010, and, to be honest, I was bored out of my mind. While I was still enjoying writing the novel, it was coming to an end and it was now mainly about the editing and revision. I was enjoying doing the work for my friend's company, but really, most of my time was being taken up at the magazine and for some reason I found it boring.
My boredom with the magazine started turning into discomfort. It felt like something didn't sit right. I befriended one of the magazine's permament workers and she seemed cool, until she suddenly got given more responsibilites. She started basically bullying some new interns the magazine got in. The interns started talking to one another about it, and then they started talking to me. It really opened my eyes to what a magazine this really was. It wasn't just the bully that was the problem, but the publication was rotten to the core. The more the interns found out about it and the more they told me, the more I realised we were all in too deep here. Cue the return of my depression through my exacberating it. The boredom, resentment, and self-pity led to my drinking getting out of control again and tearful arguments with my mother. So needless to say, I was in no state to return to Newsvine, even if it had occured to me to.
Things came to a head when the bully made the mistake of turning on me. She had a one-to-one meeting with me at one stage and told me off because I'd been late to a team meeting. I was furious, because the way I saw it, I was a freelancer, for goodness sake, and even if I'd been permament, she wouldn't have been my manager. In fact, she wasn't actually anyone's manager, so who was she to tell me off? Then she had the cheek to ask me if I wanted to do lunch with her. I literally just walked off without saying anythin. She chased after me and told me not to do that again. I just thank God I didn't hit or push her, because I've done that to people in the past. She now had me and the interns completely and utterly against her. We complained several times to management, but to no avail. One day, I walked into the office to find one of the interns snapping at the bully. The bully finally got it into her head that she was making a lot of enemies, and she held impromptu one-to-one meetings with each of the interns and I so we could tell her our grievances. To her credit, she wanted to find out what she was doing wrong. In the meeting with me, she told me that she could tell I was furious that time I stormed off and she wanted to know why I was angry with her. So I gave her a loooong list and told her some harsh truths about how she'd lost my trust. She wrote it all down and from then on, seemed to be making an effort to change, but by that stage it was too little too late. She wasn't even the main problem anymore. By that stage the interns and I all knew too much about how the magazine operated. The two interns I was closest to both resigned and I dropped the wretched publication as a client soon afterwards, in August 2010.
Cue more self-pity and wasting my days drinking and not taking my meds. I was still doing the work for my friend's business though, so that kept me from disappearing back into the hole of 2009. I went on a couple of holidays I'd planned and by the start of November, I was ready to pull myself together again and get serious about my writing. Also, I finally moved out of my mum's and realised I'd need to Woman-Up in order to pay the bills and what-not. So I started working harder and longer, picking up new clients, and getting involved in new projects.
"Ok", you say, "but is this going anywhere? Why did you log back into Newsvine"? I just got hired by Demand Studios to write eHow articles. My first article was accepted and published. I also just got an AddThis toolbar, which allows you to share webpages on various social networking/bookmarking/article collection sites by just clicking on the relevant buttons. I went crazy and started clicking buttons to share my first eHow article everywhere. Then I saw the Newsvine button and thought, 'Hm, might as well share on that too", so I clicked it, was connected to the Newsvine site, remembered my password after one failed attempt, and I was in! I seeded my link and had a little look around. Not long after, I shared another link on Newsvine and had another little look around. Then I decided to make a proper comeback. So here I am!
Sorry, I know you probably don't care, or didn't even notice I was gone, but like all good confessions, this one is more about the one confessing than anyone else.
So in short. Where did I go?: To self-pityville. Why am I back?: Add This led me back. And then I remembered that all of you people rock.